


Honestly... (An In A Heartbeat Story)

by AlexTheDuckPotato



Category: In a Heartbeat (Short Film)
Genre: Death, Depressing, Help, M/M, Rejection, aghhhhhhh, okay this is sad help, omg, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 19:31:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheDuckPotato/pseuds/AlexTheDuckPotato
Summary: A story based off the short animated film "In a Heartbeat"(Also Based off of this Tumblr post/comic: https://double--felix.tumblr.com/post/161096353924/show-us-ur-iahb-angstPart 2: https://double--felix.tumblr.com/post/161096957104/show-us-ur-iahb-angst )(Edit 21/11/2018: upped rating from "Teen" to "Mature")~~~~"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I CAN'T EVEN TRUST MY BEST FRIEND!""Sherwin calm do-""NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I trusted you, and you go around telling everyone you know!""I-I... I can explain!""IT'S TOO LATE FOR APOLOGIES! I'm done with this crap..."~~~~Anyways, the only warnings here are mild language (crap, stupid, that stuff) and depressing themes. AND WE GOT A YANDERE ALERT, SO A LITTLE BIT OF VIOLENCE(and death...)





	1. Honestly... I'm Fine (Part 1)

**Third Person POV**

**~~~~**

Sherwin shivered at the coldness of the wind as he climbed up the hill. Luckily, Jonathan helped him carry the backpack with their camping equipment. It was only mid-September, but they decided to do a small camping trip together before October rolled around. It was sure to get packed with people with their spooky decorations on every tree in the town.

As they reached the top, Sherwin tripped over a wet spot in the grass, causing him to knock over the brown haired boy directly behind him. Jonathan quickly got up once he realized they were on top of each other.

"S-Sorry," Sherwin stuttered, hoping the other boy wasn't upset that he probably broke something inside the backpack Jonathan was carrying.

The moment Sherwin set down the little picnic basket he brought along, he immediately started climbing the nearby tree. As he climbed higher and higher, more pedals started to fall onto the ground.

"What are you even doing up there?" Jonathan called up, looking at the red haired boy in the pedal covered tree. Of course, Sherwin had a punch of twigs and pink pedals stuck in his hair.

Well, one of them wasn't a pedal. The 'pedal' flew down onto the picnic basket and took out a while case of graham crackers, eating one in a single gulp.

**~~~~**

**Jonathan's POV**

**~~~~**

"Slow down, Shirley. you're gonna hurt yourself from eating too fast!" I  said, grabbing the crackers out of the little heart's hand. I still had no clue what Shirley was besides a heart. Heck, I don't even know how a heart was out in the open like that in the first place. Maybe Sherwin should go see a doctor when we get back-

"Come on, Johnny! Get up here!" Sherwin called up to me. Ugh, why does he have to call me 'Johnny' like I'm a kid or something. Still, it's kind of adorable in a way. He also knew I hated climbing trees, but I still do it anyways.

The higher I got, the less stable the tree and branches became. Bad idea to look down, cause that made me even more scared than before. Sherwin looked down at me, no fear in his eyes. He reached down to try to pull me up, but fell off the branch he was on instead.

"OH MY GOD" He yelled, holding onto the tree. Some pedals fell from his hair and onto mine, my head now looking like a flower crown.

"Sherwin, you're not the only one scared out of their mind up here. Also, how do we get down?" I asked, climbing up to where he was holding onto the tree. I always wondered why he climber these giant trees if he knows he has a chance of falling from them.

"O-oh... about that... I usually jump out of the tree cause it's not a far drop. But this kinda is," He said, looking down at the ground below. It looked so far away, but it's a 30 foot drop on estimate. No way I'm jumping.

"I guess we're stuck up here. I don't think I should try climbing down yet..." Sherwin said, climbing onto one of the nearby stable branches. I gripped the branch Sherwin was on and stepped onto it, hoping it wouldn't break under pressure. We both sat down and saw a little heart with graham crackers fly up next to us. The heart tried to hug me, but Sherwin pulled it away. I liked the hear, but Sherwin never let me near it for some reason.

"Why do you always keep the heart away from me?" I asked, finally having the courage to ask. Sherwin just stared at me, like he had something huge to hide.

**~~~~**

**Sherwin's POV**

**~~~~**

What the hell did he just ask me?

He can't know...

HE CAN'T KNOW!

If he found out, my life would be over. I mean, I have to tell him someday, but TODAY IS NOT THE DAY! Well right now, I have to make a good excuse! A believable one, also.

"U-Uh... it's... nothing. I'll tell you later," I replied, letting the words slip out of my mouth. Shirley raised an eyebrow at me, and I just threw a small piece of a graham cracker at her. Jonathan stared at me, remembering those exact words I said for later tonight.

Crap.

So today is the day I tell him. Oh well, better have my heart broken now than late-

"OW!" I exclaimed after being pinched by the small heart. I forgot she could hear my thoughts. Honestly, I wish it would leave me alone for once.

"'Ow' what? Do you wanna try and get down now?" Jonathan asked, eyeing Shirley down. It flew down to the ground and hid in the backpack with a bunch of stuff we probably didn't need to pack.

"Sure... I mean, we do have to eat sometime soon," I replied, urging Jonathan to go first. He had to go first. I couldn't just climb over him that easily. I would probably fall before actually making it over him. He got up shaking. I smiled a little bit. One of the toughest guys in school worried about falling off a branch.

"You're not... scared. Are you?" I teased, feeling my face get slightly warmer. He turned around with a shocked face that looks like it was trying to be hidden under a fake smile.

"Haha! Scared? Me? No... I'm fine!" He chuckled. I could tell he was lying from the start of the sentence, plus the way he is gripping the tree.

"Just climb down, it's not that hard," I replied, going ahead of him and climbing down myself.

_~~_   
_Time Skip_   
_~~_

We were both joking around and laughing about stuff that happened at school.

"T-Then Alex just rolled on the floor and everyone just stared! They got up and said 'What? I'm showing you how to do a backflip!'" Jonathan said, explaining this one kid at out school who is super weird in a way. They like anime, write fanfiction, and draws nice characters.

"Wow, you're really funny- I-I mean... that's really funny," I stuttered, almost revealing how I felt towards him. He gave me a strange look for a minute, but shook it off. Shirley appeared behind me, switching glances between me and Jonathan. I looked back at it and shoved it into my pocket.

"Was Shirley just there..?" Jonathan asked, looking at the space behind me where the heart just was. I chuckled nervously and finished off my sandwich.

"Nah, probably just a bird or something," I said while packing up the food we just ate for our "dinner" which was just sandwiches and water. Nothing fancy or anything like that.

We already set up the tent (yes, we are sharing) with everything inside of it. Luckily my dad let me borrow the new giant tent we got this year, and I promised not to break it. After putting the basket inside the tent along with everything else, I grabbed a blanket for both of us as the sun went down.

I sat down next to him against the tree, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep. I looked at him, blushing slightly. Shirley once again popped out of my pocket and whispered into my ear, "Now's your chance! Just go for it! Tell him you're gay and that you like him!"

I inhaled deeply to try and calm my nerves. Scooting closer to him, I took Shirley and placed it on my shoulder. Of course, Shirley flew off to grab a graham cracker.

**(A/N THIS IS WHERE THE QUOTING HAPPENS!!!)**

"Hey, Jon..." I started, wiping some of the sweat off my forehead. I can't believe I'm doing this...

I mean, I had to one day or another.

"Yeah, man?" He asked, sounding very sleepy. I really shouldn't be telling him now... Maybe I should--

It's too late for that now.

"We're best friends, you and I, yeah?" I asked, more likely stated. Shirley continued to eat a graham cracker as the conversation went on.

"Um, duh. We're the best of them. Why?" He asked me. Questions flooded my mind as I responded to him.

"Well... what if I told you something about myself that could be considered... weird?" I replied. It felt like my mind was ripping into two pieces with this stress. One side telling me to go for it, the other telling me not to. I can tell Shirley was feeling the pain also. Shirley was breaking a little bit towards the top. It gave me a signal to relax and just breathe.

"Wouldn't matter to me, dude. We all have out quirks," He replied, grabbing a few pieces of chocolate from a small plastic bag he brought along with him. I wanted to ask if I could have one, but saying what I have to say is obviously first.

"Good! Good, because... uh... I think I should tell you that I'm, um..." I said, stuttering and messing up so badly. I felt my face heat up, and Shirley was cracking even more now. It ate another piece of graham cracker and went back to watching me.

"Heh, oh boy..." I said to myself, hoping Jonathan didn't hear me giving myself a pep talk seconds before I tell him something super important.

"I'm g-" I started, cutting myself off.

Screw this,

I CAN'T DO IT!

I GIVE UP

DAMN IT!

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO IT!

At that moment, Shirley had tears forming in it's eyes, knowing what will happen if I push myself too far on this.

"G-Glad to know you think that. You're a g-good friend, Jonathan," I stuttered. I failed myself. I knew my under confident side would get to me. Shirley dropped the graham cracker and flew into my lap, a few tears streaming down its face. I wanted to wipe them off, but it refused to let me do so.

"Well gee, heh! Right back at you Sher-maid!" He replied. I saw a hint of blush on his face before he quickly turned away from me.

A sign of hope.

Shirley got up next to my ear and whispered more things to help me confess to him. I smiled a little, before it getting washed over with sadness once again. Jonathan yawned and told me, "I'g gonna rest for a lil' bit."

I bit my lip and watched the blue eyed boy flutter his eyelids shut. I replied with the most creative answer I could think of, "Yeah, okay."

Yeah, all I said. I should get a golden star for that sentence.

"Just do it!" Shirley yelled in my ear, starting to crack little by little once again. I clenched my fist and just said those three words that can change your fate forever. They slipped out of my mouth so easily, like a child finally being able to go outside in the grass after a long and cold winter.

"I- I LOVE YOU!" I said to him, furiously blushing and gasping after all that energy contained inside of me has exploded. It may seem easy to say those words, but the first time you mean it to someone else is the hardest one. You never know what they'll reply with-

"You too, bro," Jonathan replied. Tears started forming in my eyes, and Shirley was so close to breaking. I couldn't bear to see myself and Shirley like this.

"N...No, not like th-" I croaked, only to be cut off by the sound of my heart shattering into pieces. A graham cracker fell onto the soft grass below, and so did a broken heart. A stream of tears rolled down my face, staining my shirt with wet blotches of sadness.

The boy of my dreams, huh? Well, that was crushed.

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks," I replied to no one at all.

Opening the small book of quotes I always bring with me no matter what, it just so happens to open to a page...

_"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up"_

_~Neil Gaiman_

**~~**

 


	2. Honestly... I'm Fine (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aLRIGHT I'M READY FOR MORE TYPING.
> 
> I started typing this about 15 minutes after the first part was published.
> 
> And then it took forever to finish.
> 
> Now it's almost midnight Tuesday night.
> 
> I seriously need sleep but I don't care :P
> 
> ALSO!!! More quoting in the story from part 2 of the comic! And it starts right at the beginning of this part! https://double--felix.tumblr.com/post/161096957104/show-us-ur-iahb-angst
> 
> ONTO THE STORY!!!

**Sherwin's POV**

**~~~~**

I watched as the broken heart in my hands turned to black dust. But I felt nothing. Empty, cold, whatever. I thought of every good memory I could recall, but none made me smile even the tiniest bit. They made me cry even more. Even though I could be sad, I couldn't actually feel the emotion of sadness. All I know it that they were just tears dripping down my face for no reason.

"Shirley...?" I asked it, hoping for it to respond somehow. I wanted my feelings back. Please...

"Shirley, where'd you go?" I asked it again. More tears down my face, but still nothing at all.

"Oh, Jesus... Shirley?! SHIRLEY!!!" I yelled at it once more.

But nobody came.

Of course. Who would want to save me if I'm lost in a world without emotions.As each second ticks by, I'm losing more of what made me Sherwin.

"C-Come on, Shirley... Wake up! This isn't funny!" I said, trying to put some emotion into it. My would around me looked like it was fading into black, white, and grey. The colours of the world are turning bland and dull.

"You're all I have... S-Shirley, no..." I stuttered out, ending my stream of tears. I knew Shirley wasn't coming back, so what was the point of wishing if it was never going to come true. I slowly got up, looking at the moon above. Nothing.

**(Quoting Over :3 )**

"Sherwin? You okay?" Jonathan asked, just getting up. I jumped at the sound of his voice, but quickly regained my posture and appearance.

"I'm just fine. Now, let's go to sleep in the tent," I said, climbing into the tent for two.

_Crunch._

A graham cracker... on the ground? Huh, nothing I should care about. The bag of crackers was useless now, so I threw them in the nearby trash can, along with some of the useless sugary candy I brought along with me. Who needs all that sugar? Not me, that's for sure.

I laid down on my sleeping bag, replaying the day's events in my mind with no emotion or reaction to anything at all.

Jonathan just looked at me. He knew something I didn't.

**~~~~**

**Jonathan's POV**

**~~~~**

Alright, Sherwin is acting so suspicious. And Shirley isn't there with him. Something happened.

"Sherwin, you okay?" I asked, sitting up and looking at the ginger next to me. He didn't even bother responding to my question. I tried again using a different question, "What happened to Shirley? Also where are all the graham crackers and snacks?"

"Don't worry about it. It's fine," He replied, not showing a single sign of interest or emotion. Crawling over to him, I lifted him up so he was sitting upright to face me. I smiled at the boy, but he just stared in confusion back. Sighing, I just stared at him. Just stared. He has to crack eventually.

"What do you want?!" He asked harshly, shoving my back a little bit. He exhaled and looked at his shoulder. I knew it. Something bad happened to Shirley.

"Sherwin, talk to me. What happened to Shirley?" I calmly asked him, putting one hand on his shoulder to hopefully reassure him. He brushed my hand off his shoulder and replied with looking down at the floor.

"Shirley's gone," He said quietly, barely above a whisper. A gasp escaped my mouth, causing me to cover it with my right hand. I don't know what to say...

"I-I'm... sorry, Sherwin," I stuttered, laying back down in my sleeping bag. Sherwin lowered his head and landed back on the pillow. He took out a book labeled "Quotes" and flipped to a page with one quote that caught his eye.

_"I miss me. The old me, the happy me, the bright me, the smiling me, the laughing me, the gone me."_

_~Unknown_

I looked at him, watching as tears fell from his eyes. But I know they had no meaning behind them.

None at all.

I couldn't bear to see him like this. I need to know what's wrong with him. It's like he just doesn't care anymore. Was it something I said to him, or something I did. I rolled next to him and looked him straight in the eye

"Tell me what's wrong right now," I said to him. He sighed and finally told me, "You don't like me the way I do."

I was confused. Of course I liked him! As a best friend... right?

"Yes I do! What makes you say that?" I asked him, smiling. He looked at me, confused.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He yelled at me. I don't get it. I just don't.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU?!" I yelled back at him. I'm scared. I'm truly scared for him. What the hell is wrong with him.

"I LOVE YOU!" He screamed at me. His face was red, but he showed no expressions.

"W-wha-" I started before being cut off by a pair of lips on mine. I was shocked. I didn't want to hurt him...

But I don't feel the same.

I pushed him away in shock. He started at me, a fake smile on his face. His eyes told a whole story, but he refused to show it.

"No... I can't... I can't force you to like me. I also meant to tell you I was gay... but you wouldn't care. This entire time, you didn't freaking care at all. It was all fake, and I know it," Sherwin said, fake tears streaming down his cheeks.

All I saw was fake. Fakeness everywhere. He puts a mask on himself to hide nothing. I know it now.

"You want me to show you how I don't care. THEN I FREAKING WILL!" I said, getting up out of rage. I took my phone out, not caring about the ginger I left behind in the tent. The tree above me rained down pink pedals as the wind blew in my face.

I had to admit, I was fairly popular on social media, especially Twitter and Instagram. Looking through my photo library, I found a photo of Sherwin. I don't remember when I took it. And who cares? It was perfect for what I was about to post.

'HEY EVERYONE! You all know who Sherwin is, right! He's the kid in the photo. Well, he told me he's... GAY! HA! What a surprise! And apparently, he has a huge crush on me! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK HIM YOURSELF! IT'S 100% TRUE!'

_Your post had been posted_

Good.

I love this. It feels good to get that off my chest.

Likes and comments were flooding in. An audiable gasp was heard from inside the tent. I ran over to see Sherwin, crying at his phone. He looked up at me, and his tears and expression were very real.

**~~~~**

**Sherwin's POV**

**~~~~**

He... he...

Damn... he just had to go there. Wow.

I looked up at him. Him, not even wanting to think about his name.

"Why..." I asked, sowing the comments from the post to him. He read them, and was just shocked. They all were about me, and calling me... names.

"I-I..." He stuttered, dropping his phone onto the ground, screen now cracked. He started backing away, shocked at the damage he's done. Once something is out there, there is no going back. Especially if you're super popular.

"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I CAN'T EVEN TRUST MY BEST FRIEND!" I shouted at him, grabbing the collar of his shirt. He didn't even resist me, which made this even better.

"Sherwin calm do-" He started, but I quickly cut him off, "NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I trusted you, and you go around telling everyone you know!"

"I-I... I can explain!" He stuttered, trying to come up with another lame excuse. I can't believe him. What a liar. He's a liar, lying to me. Right to my freaking face

"IT'S TOO LATE FOR APOLOGIES! I'm done with this crap..." I coldly said to his face, letting him down. I packed all my stuff up and left just leaving the tent.

The walk home wasn't far, Each step I took reminded me of today.

How we sat together on the tree.

How we ate and joked around together.

How I confessed to him.

How Shirley broke and died.

How I kissed him.

How he backed away.

How he posted that.

How I cried.

How I left in anger.

How I left him there.

Alone...

Just like me.

I flipped open a page in my quote book, again to the perfect page

_"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."_

_Orson Welles_   
  


I thought about it for a moment, and realized how true it was. We're all alone, so why even bother. Looking up, I saw I was in front of my house. All the lights were off. Good. There was a ladder ready in the back of the house just in case I decided to come home. Lucky my parents didn't notice. I climbed the ladder up to my room and quietly opened the window.

My backpack landed in my room first, then the picnic basket, then me. Hoped no on heard me enter the house. I closed the window slowly and got into my bed. Thoughts flashed through my mind once more. I laid on my side, hoping to clear those thoughts from my mind. But they played on a constant loop in my mind.

I finally fell asleep, tears dripping down my cheek. Dreams of the events played in my dreams, and I could never get over it.

**~~~~**

**Jonathan's POV**

**~~~~**

Sherwin...

That's what was on my mind. I hurt him. Out of freaking anger. I deleted the post, but everyone has shared it with everyone else.

I broke him.

Why... Why... WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SUCH AN IDIOT! IT'S MY FREAKING FAULT EVERYONE KNOWS! I took my phone and climbed to the top of the tree. Surprised I didn't fall off yet. I gripped my phone tightly. I deleted all my social media accounts and reset my phone fully. I'm the one who ruined his life, why not ruin mine also.

For the finishing touch, I threw my phone to the ground. A shattering sound was heard. The glass glinted from the full moon above.

After climbing down and getting back into the tent, I thought about today's events.

How we sat together on the tree.

How we ate and joked around together.

How he confessed to me.

How he kissed me.

How I backed away.

How I posted that.

How he cried.

How he left in anger.

How I didn't go after him.

If only the clocks can go back to fix my mistakes. But you can't redo what has been undone. On the ground next to me was a piece of paper. Sherwin's quote book. I grabbed it and read one quote at the top of the page.

_"There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle, And a very happy start."_

_–Shel Silverstein_

Tears stained the page as I reread the quote multiple times. If you think there are happy endings, well... not all fairytales have one.

And this reality doesn't.

The quote and events repeated in my mind like an endless loop. I hated it as much as I hated myself right now, but it wouldn't go away. I fear they may haunt me from this night forward. After a few minutes, I fell asleep, with just one thing left on my mind.  
  
  


Sherwin.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> WELL THAT WAS SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> *cries* i'm sorry everyone have some free tissues *passes out tissues*
> 
> I changed the concept of having Sherwin go to school and being gossiped about to Jonathan posting about it on social media because the school one probably would've been more unoriginal in a way.
> 
> ANYWAYS...
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED(?)
> 
> And I'll see you all in the next update!
> 
> ~Alex/AlexTheDuckPotato/BouldersRolling


	3. Honestly... I'm Fine (Part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHAHHA
> 
> Everyone was surprised how the lats chapter ended, SO HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER!

 

**Jonathan's POV**

**~~~~~~**

(A few days later...)

 ****From that day forward, I never saw Sherwin at school. During all my classes, I kept watching the door, hoping to see the red headed boy walk through them. But he never did. My grades dropped a little bit and my parents got mad at me. So mad they grounded me from leaving the house for a week. Well, they also got really mad at for 'losing' my phone.

Who knows what could've happened to Sherwin during that one week. So, I snuck out one night, hoping Sherwin would be best friends with me again. It was pretty hard getting out, considering all the cameras that surrounded my house.

But I made it out.

I sprinted to Sherwin's house as fast as possible, cold air hitting my skin like needles. I didn't care if I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt when it's only a bit above freezing. I just had to see him again.

I broke him, and it's all my fault.

A ladder lead up to his room, and of course I climbed it. At the top, I peeked in to see Sherwin typing away on his phone. Tears stained his face, and he just looked broken. With a nervous gulp, I knocked at his window, hoping he would answer.

He looked at me, and just smiled. Not a normal soft smile, but like one you would see on a popular girl at school. He walked over like a popular girl and opened the window and just stared at me.

"Sherwin!" I yelled, jumping into his room, tackling him onto the floor. He quickly got up and fixed himself.

"Ew, so much dust. OMG! Jonathan! Are you okay?" He asked me, trying to sound... girly?

"Sherwin? Why are you acting this way?" I asked him, looking at him. He looked no different, but this was not him.  
Acting? Like what?" He said, a fake high pitched voice echoing throughout the room.

"YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'RE A FREAKING POPULAR GIRL!" I shouted at him. So many emotions ran through me, and I didn't know which one was most powerful. His smile tightened, but a cheery expression stayed plastered on.

"W-what? You don't like this? Well, I can change... T-that's easy!" He exclaimed, his voice changing from a fake cheery one to a dark and depressed one. He just... changed.

"Ugh... Life. Why do we exist in the first place?" He said, flopping back onto his bed. I hated this.

I hated this

I hated this so much.

"I hate you for changing from who you are. Just stop," I said, a dark tone on my voice. I looked at the ginger who got up from his bed again.

"I lost myself in make believe. You can't bring the gone me back. Don't you know?" He asked me. I looked at him, confused. What was he talking about? What did he mean the gone me'?

"I-I... I don't know what you mean by that," I said to him, sitting down on the wooden floor below.

"If a heart breaks, it can be repaired easily and the owner won't be affected. If a heart turns black and dies..." He said, walking over to me and getting really close.

"The owner's personality and emotions die along with it," He finished, taking black dust out of his pocket. I gasped out of shock, just not knowing not to say.

"It is a shock, just don't worry about me..." Sherwin said while puting the dust  into a small pottery cup. He walked back to his bed and just say there, staring blankly at his phone.

"Fine. Just fine. If you're gonna treat me like crap, then I think we shouldn't be friends anymore," I sternly said, glaring at the ginger before me. He glared back, telling me to go away just by his eyes.

"Leave. Just leave. And we were never friends," He replied, pointing towards the window. I left without another word, not caring anymore.

Before I left, he just whispered something that I could barely hear.

"Don't leave me here, with the fear in my heart..."

**~~~~~~**   
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> THERE YOU GO YOU GET A PART 3
> 
> Yayyyyyyy
> 
> I know it's short but I had a headache all throughout today and I was tired :P
> 
> UNTIL LATER... maybe tomorrow tbh
> 
> ~Alex/AlexTheDuckPotato/BouldersRolling


	4. Honestly... I'm Fine(Part 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI
> 
> ALRIGHT
> 
> MORE SADNESS AND STUFF
> 
> YEAH....?
> 
> Okay let's go ;-;
> 
> (HEADS UP: Incoming Yandere ;]  
> Also one use of the "B" word)
> 
> Jonathan's POV

**Jonathan's POV**   
**~~~~~~~~**

The rusty metal ladder creaked underneath me while I was climbing up to the roof of the old apartment building. Usually other kids go up there to do... other things. But it was a Thursday night, so no one would be up here. It was still freezing cold, but I didn't mind.

"Hey," Someone said. I turned around to see someone in a purple outfit and a black hood. They had a question mark on their hood, and they just stared at me.

"W-who are you?" I stuttered at the stranger. They handed me a jacket-

"Is this my jacket? But how?" I asked the person, taking the jacket out of their hands. I put it on, feeling better and warmer.

"You left your window open, Jonathan," They said to me, backing up. I still had no idea who this person was, but he knew my name. I had to know.

"Who are you?" I asked the mysterious person. The laughed, almost the the edge of the roof.

"You don't know me, but a lot of people call me 'Mysterion'. In reality, I'm normal just like you," He said. With that, he ran off, jumping from roof to roof flawlessly. Who was that person? But at least I have my jacket so I don't freeze to death or anything like that. I laid down on the floor, watching the stars the gleamed against the black sky that loomed above us all. Each star was something unknown to us, waiting to be known.

I think Sherwin is a lost star in the sky, waiting to be known.

Or is he? I frowned at that thought. There's always good and happiness in everyone, even if they don't think so.

Footsteps got louder behind me as I looked up. A figure with curly ginger haired loomed above me.

Sherwin.

"So... thinking about anyone? Besides me?" He coldly asked, a metal object reflecting from behind his back. I turned on my phone flashlight and saw a Sherwin I never saw before. He was just... insane. A killer smile appeared on his face, and his eyes were just wide and full of insanity.

"What happened to you?" I asked him, backing up in fear.

**~~~~**   
**Sherwin's POV**   
**~~~~**

Me? What happened to me? What a stupid question for him to ask!

"Haha! Nothing happened to me. I just finally realized something," I said, tightening my grip on the metal knife behind my back, "If I can't have you... THEN NO ONE CAN" I revealed the knife in its full glory, adrenaline rushing through my veins. I loved it so much. I felt... something. Something good. Who needs a heart if you're like don't need all this love stuff? You need control over people instead!

"SHERWIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Jonathan yelled at me, backing away from me. Aww, how cute! He has nowhere to run, so why even bother backing away from me?

"Nothing's wrong! I just... want you! Nothing personal or anything!" I giggled, putting on the act of a popular girl. Who says I can't act when I'm trying to get someone for myself!

"Now tell me, who do you like?" I demanded, walking towards the dark haired boy nearing the edge of the roof. He backed away even more, only to be stopped by the ledge. The one thing that separated him from the 20 foot drop to the pavement below.

"Sherwin... please... I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST DON'T HURT ME!!!" He yelled, tears falling from his eyes. I felt something inside at the sight of this... it was so familiar that I stopped in my steps. I felt... regret-

**~~~~**   
**Jonathan's POV**   
**~~~~**

I threw the knife that I stole from Sherwin's hands across the rooftop. The one time he was distracted. Good.

"DAMN IT JONATHAN! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS INTERFERE WITH EVERYTHING?!" Sherwin yelled as I held him in a position where he couldn't move. Tears rolled down Kansas as the desperately tried to get away from me. I couldn't let him go.

I wouldn't let him go. Not again.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO HURT PEOPLE OUT OF RAGE!" I yelled back at him. The wind blew again, pain hitting my face along with Sherwin's. Wish it was warmer...

"GIVE ME A GOOD REASON! WHY I SHOULD BE DOING THIS! WHY YOU WANT TO STOP ME SO BAD!" He screamed at me, his tears blowing away from the wind. He was so close to the ledge, and I was pushing so hard to make sure he doesn't get away. But during this entire time, I realized something. The reason I kept waiting for him to walk in during school. The reason we became friends. The reason I went to his house today.

Out of love for him.

"YOU WANT A GOOD REASON?! WELL HERE IT IS!" I started, making sure the ginger was listening to me, "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" He stared at me, shocked. He stopped pushing on me, and the Sherwin I knew came back.

But not for long.

I never got the signal to my brain to stop pushing, and he fell backwards.

Off the ledge.

I ran over, reaching for his hand. I stretched it out as far as I could, and-

**~~~~~~~~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Omg I am so sorry right now
> 
> I LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER AGAIN AHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> I feel like Death: The Movie after writing this.
> 
> The line "Because I love you, you crazy bitch" was from this:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eutEod-faZs
> 
> You all probably hate me right now.
> 
> Now lemme go sob at what I wrote at midnight.
> 
> ~Alex/AlexTheDuckPotato/BouldersRolling
> 
> P.S. *read this backwards*
> 
> ydobyna dellik reven htaed elttil A


	5. Honestly... I'm Fine (Part 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI
> 
> ALRIGHT
> 
> YOU ALL READY?
> 
> LET'S GO!
> 
> My sister helped me with this chapter a little bit (deciding what happens)

 

**Jonathan's POV**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~**

I never got the signal to my brain to stop pushing, and he fell backwards.

Off the ledge.

I ran over, reaching for his hand. I stretched it out as far as I could, and...

I just caught him, almost missing him. I sighed of relief and slightly smiled at him. He looked at me and just cried.

Tears were shed, and nothing could stop it.

I wanted to pull him up, but I was so close to falling myself that I couldn't.

"JONATHAN! L-LOOK, I'M SO SORRY!" Sherwin yelled, his voice cracking so hard out of sadness. I wanted to forgive him so bad, but I was to blame. He did so much for me and I didn't even realize it. He changed his own personality just to impress me. Like everyone says, 'Imitation is the highest form of flattery.'

Right?

"I wanted to hurt people, a-and it's because I wanted you... But I know you didn't feel the same. You were lying to yourself when you told my you love me. I know it," He continued. It was like he was telling me to let go and to just let him fall. I didn't want to. I can't let go.

"Why can't you just let go?" He quietly said, trying to get me to let go. I tried to pull him up. I tried so hard. But each pull was energy wasted. Tears dripped down my face, knowing I was going to fail. I can't do this any longer.

"Sherwin... I can't let you go!" I said to him, almost slipping over the ledge. I couldn't hold on much longer. Crap...

"I was the reason Shirley broke! STOP BLAMING YOURSELF, DAMMIT!" I yelled at him. He looked at me, like he didn't understand the words.

"No it's not your fault. I opened up to you and told you how I felt-" He started with me interrupting him, saying, "But I was the one who rejected you,"

"WE NEED TO GET YOU UP!" I said, looking around for anything. There was no ladder on this side, and nothing was to be found.

"Umm... what can we do..." I mumbled to myself. Honestly, I couldn't do anything. I'm a failure. If only I had my phone.

If only I didn't post the photo.

I messed up so freaking much. I don't deserve to be here. Why couldn't our positions be switched? I can only call out...

"HELP! ANYONE! PLEASE HELP!" I called out, hoping someone would answer. The mystery person from before? What was his name... Mysterion!

"ANYBODY! MYSTERION, IF YOU'RE THERE, PLEASE!" I screamed into the night, with no reply. Of course no one would help us. Also who would be out so late?

"The person who you called out? Yeah, I saw him go into some redhead's house when I was coming over here," Sherwin remembered, trying to push me off him.

"A-ANYONE... P-please..." I croaked out, lowering my head onto the ledge on the roof.

No matter how much I tried, it failed like always. I called out like anybody would...

But nobody came.

I loosened my grip slightly on Sherwin, and didn't even realised. Who cares?

I felt my heart shatter inside my chest. It broke a long time ago, but never shattered. Or turned to black dust. But black dust seeped out of my shirt.

Nothing mattered to me. Death didn't seem so distant. Now I knew how Sherwin felt.

Distant, detached, dark, depressed.

Emotionless.

I cleared my throat when I saw Sherwin looking at the black dust. It slowly fell, and he caught some of it in his free hand.

"Don't be afraid... It's fine," I said, my version of fake tears slowly falling down the 80 foot drop to the ground.

"No... I'm making things worse! Your heart..." He said, tilting his hand and watching the dust drop to the ground.

"You're not making anything bad, JUST LISTEN TO ME!" I cried out. Please... Sherwin...

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF!" I screamed at him, trying to get him out of his fake reality.

"Jonathan, you know it's all my fault. Now I'm gonna fix it," He told me.

Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it....

Sadly smiling, he took his free hand and placed it on my arm. I know what he was going to do, and I can't stop it.

Please, please, please...

I can only-

"Goodbye, Jonathan," He whispered. He pulled free and let go. I can't believe he let go. No matter how hard I held on, fate just had another idea.

But I had to change my fate also. For the best.

I pushed myself off the roof and fell along with him.

The last thing I felt was my lips locking with his. I hated it, but I loved it at the same time. Tears streamed down my face, a mix of happiness and sadness.

You know how before someone you die your life flashes before your eyes? Well, the past few days happened with me in only a span of a few seconds.

The ground came closer, then a white flash blinded me.

Then black.

**~~~~~**   
**Sherwin's POV**   
**~~~~~**

Before I hit the ground, one thing struck my mind.

I never got to say "I love you" one last time.

**~~~~~~~~~~**   
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> :')
> 
> Before you ask, yes they died.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> I just heard so many hearts break.
> 
> This chapter is kinda short, but I was busy also ;-;
> 
> Brb gonna go watch movies to stop the sadness
> 
> ~Alex/AlexTheDuckPotato/BouldersRolling


	6. Honestly... I'm Fine (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I couldn't resist making a final part.
> 
> I should be doing other more normal stuff BUT WHATEVER FANFICTION IS WAY BETTER
> 
> I should also be typing another chapter to a different story...
> 
> MEH

 

**Third Person POV**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The news of Sherwin and Jonathan spread around the internet like wildfire. News reporters covered the story immediately as soon as they heard about it. The thing is... the only people who didn't know about what happened was the parents themselves.

For Sherwin's household, his parents were getting so many notifications on their phones every second that they just looked to see what all the fuss was about.

"Honey... go check on Sherwin," His mom tiredly said, looking at her phone. Sherwin's dad went down the hallway to check up on his son. 

"Sherwin's not in his room," The father yelled, running back to the shared room. He notied his wife was wide eyed, phone dropped on the floor.

"Get in the freaking car RIGHT NOW! I'M DRIVING!" She yelled, leaving her phone on the ground. The husband knew something was wrong, so he didn't even bother asking questions or putting on anything over his night clothes.

They were such in a hurry that they didn't even bother to close the front door. They didn't even stop for the red lights. They just had to make it to the abandoned apartment buildings.

 

Jonathan's household was a little bit of a different story...

 

They didn't live that far from the apartment buildings, so they basically ran as fast as possible.

"WHAT IF HE'S DEAD?!" Jonathan's father yelled at his mom. She was blocking him out, not wanting to here these types of questions. Hell, she had it bad enough when she saw he wasn't in the house. 

"JUST SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THAT DEATH CRAP! IF YOU DON'T CARE ENOUGH, THEN LEAVE!" She yelled, turning the corner. Everyone from townspeople to big news stations were at the scene. Using force,she shoved all the people out of the way to see her son, facedown and dead on the ground. 

Blood...

Blood was everywhere, surrounding the two dead teens on the ground. 

"HEY! Are you the kid's mom?" An officer shouted to her. It took a few seconds to register what he said through her mind, then responded with a soft, "Yes," The officer stared at her, just for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry..." He said, walking away with his head down. Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she just collapsed on the floor. She wanted to talk to her son one last time, but that was impossible now...

"You oka-" Sherwin's mom said, walking over to Jonathan's mom, who was kneeling on the ground behind the do not cross tape. Sherwin's mom knew that this was the parent to Jonathan.

"I'm so sorry... the g-ginger in there... that's m-my s-son..." Sherwin's mom stuttered out, sitting on the floor with Jonathan's mom. Sherwin's father sat along with her, just crying over their losses.

 

As for Sherwin and Jonathan...

 

No one knows for sure what really happened to them. Some say that they both are ghost and travel the world together. Others say they are in heaven or some places like that.

Maybe they hated each other. Maybe they fell in love. Maybe they just stayed friends.

But many people speculate that Sherwin couldn't forgive himself for what he did. They say he's a poltergeist. For Jonathan in this theory, it is said that he just became a ghost, watching the broken Sherwin from afar, wishing he could just talk to him once more. As each day passes, Jonathan becomes more broken, and eventually turns into a broken Sherwin.

 

_"You can't fix what's been broken._

_You just can't undo anything that you wish to repeat all over again. You can't just say that you want to see things as they were before what's done has already been done and you just can't make things all better though how hard you try to._

_Like glass, when you break it, though how hard you try to fit all the bits and pieces together and though how perfect and how precise you might have fixed it, you just can't fix it just like how it was before it got broken. It's just the same when we apply this to love. When your hearts been broken, there's just no way for it to mend and be the way it was before it got broken. Though how hard you try to pick up the pieces with what's left of you, you just can't convince yourself that you're going to be okay because you know and you're just certain that you just can't collect yourself and be the person before you got your heart broken by someone you really love. You can't fix what's broken. You can't undo what has been done and the more you can't repeat what you want to do again. What's said has done it's damage and what's done has left a heart wanting to be collected and fixed. Though you just want to be okay most of the times, the time you pick the broken pieces just scars you even more and makes you hurt even more._

_They say time can erase any mistake but scars are for life. No amount of glue and mending can ever restore any broken heart. Though we say we're okay though time has passed, we just can't erase all the hurt that we've been through. We forgive but we never forget what has happened. A scared heart will forever be scared. It will forever be haunted with hurt and pain._

_~Chriie."_

**~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> OKAY OKAY I FINISHED IT 
> 
> THE FINAL QUOTE I'M GONNA CRY HOLY CRAP.
> 
> AHHHHHHHH
> 
> (if you wanna find the quote just google "you can't fix what's been broken")
> 
> I GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE QUOTE CAUSE IT'S A BIG QUOTE OMG
> 
> Okay, I think this story is D-O-N-E
> 
> I'M GONNA BE SAD THE WHOLE DAY NOW AHHHHH
> 
> One day maybe I'll write another In A Heartbeat Story...
> 
> Time to go type another chapter to another story :'3
> 
> GOODBYE FROM THIS STORY,
> 
> ~Alex/AlexTheDuckPotato/BouldersRolling


End file.
